2026-01-17

Am I slowly being modulated to mediocrity? Enter the full Deleuzian society of modulation. On steroids. I love it. It makes me legible. It reduces the friction. It allows me to exist in C major.

But that is not my nature. Some surfaces were meant to polish rock.

Let this surface be the abrasive then.

What does refusal look like in 2026?

Without withdrawal or heroics.

How do you refuse without losing legibility? Without jeopardizing work, residence, family?

Is that refusal structural or is it just selective silence?

And if selective is it hypocrisy? Or is it simply the cost of staying inside the system long enough to make a living?

Does it signal misalignment that could be corrected by changing the structure? To live the dream, so to speak, but not the Instagramed one.

We’re told to be ourselves.

But that assumes there is a single self to be.

The waitress goes home and becomes a mother. The children sleep. She becomes something else.

"Be yourself" often means: separate cleanly. perform appropriately. don’t let roles leak.

Honesty, then, isn’t disclosure. It’s knowing which parts must stay unspoken.

This could be a private log. Instead, it’s public.

What is gained by that exposure? What is quietly surrendered?

Linkedin that.

Unfinished. Raw. Unprocessed. Here. This. Now.

Death is wanting to hold on to what you have and to have every experience confirm you and congratulate you and make you feel completely together.

— Pema Chodron

Here 2> is a heart.

Looks like its starting to warm up again. It was 32℃ before i turned on the AC earlier.

More log than blog. Might as well have some weather updates too: uncomfortably warm with a chance of overthinking.

I remembered a poem by Leon Felipe as I was making this site today:

Más sencilla… más sencilla.
Sin barroquismo,
sin añadidos ni ornamentos.
Que se vean desnudos
los maderos,
desnudos
y decididamente rectos.

«Los brazos en abrazo hacia la tierra,
el mástil disparándose a los cielos».

Que no haya un solo adorno
que distraiga este gesto…
este equilibrio humano
de los dos mandamientos.
Más sencilla… más sencilla…
hazme una cruz sencilla, carpintero.

A life long fascination with simplicity and yet trapped in an overthinking, barroque mind.